how can i convince you its me i don't like

Yeah I just don't know

2014-07-18 - 5:33 p.m.

I didn't break any bones. I almost feel disappointed with myself.
Not so hardcore now are we Heather? Hah. I'm a pussy.
I have been punching myself. It hurts. Hurts all day but no bruise. Another disappointment. I'm such a weirdo.
Not looking forward to the weekend. I like not working but too much free time, too many thoughts clouding my mind. I need to do house work. My house is not terribly messy but if I keep being lazy it will be soon. My washing machine is broken and the kids go through clothes super fast so that's piling up. Being poor doesn't help my stress level. And school is starting soon so there is the expense of that. It's unbelievable that Lucas will be starting kindergarten. Now both my boys will be in school. Sigh. I know it's cliche but where did the time go?

Larry texted me that he loved me still last night. It makes me so uneasy when he starts all that shit. When will he give up? My panic sets in just thinking about him. I feel guilty that I kind of wish he'd fuck up and go back to jail. I felt so at ease when he was out of the picture.

I don't know.

regrets - hopes

the past

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