2017-01-19 - 10:05 p.m.

Older. Not wiser. Drinking too much. My kids are getting older and so am I. I had a miscarriage in September. It haunts me. I know it was my fault. Pushing myself too hard. Working too much. I killed my baby. I can barely live with myself. Greg is so consumed with work he never has time for me. We are growing apart. It's only a matter of time before it's over. It's heartbreaking. I thought for sure he was it. I'm nothing. I don't know how I'm still going. I think about suicide more than i don't. Ugh. Help. Kids rely on me. I'm such a failure. I need help. I started cutting again. I'm 32. Shit.I'm a mom. Fuck. I am so lost and alone. How can i be such a failure. And so alone.

regrets - hopes

the past