2001-12-31 - 10:49 p.m.

I want to cut myself until I pass out from loss of blood or the pain.

*sigh*

If only I weren't so fucked up.

I was thinking about all my friends and how they must think I am so stupid for cutting. I wonder if I can ever face them again? I just feel like maybe... I don't know. I hate myself.

I want to cut.

If only I were at home. I would do it or maybe I'd call Frank. I'd call him and say everything was fine and not let him know that hearing his voice was the only thing keeping me from cutting. He is the one thing keeping me here. I miss him so much and it has only been a couple of days.

If only I weren't so unstable.

I wonder how do people see me?

regrets - hopes

the past