2001-05-13 - 6:12 p.m.

This wekkend has been just well great. Right now I can honestly say that I'm happy. Damn, it is a miracle. I know it probably won't last long much while I have it I am going to take it for all I can.

Ok Friday night I went out w/ Frank and Mae and Jerald and Brianna. We went to applebees and then hung out by the river for a couple hours. We just sat.It was cool. I kinda felt misplaced, but I'm not going to complain.

I like Frank sooo much but I have like no self- esteem and i feel like there is no way in hell he could ever like me. I can't decide if when we are together it is comfortable silence or akward silence. I just wish I weren't so shy b/c i want him to like me so much.

Saturday Frank picked me up at like 9:30 and we went to his band practice. They are awesome. Frank is so talented. Anyway we did that and just hung out for a while w/ the other guys in the band. It was fun. When Frank brought me home and was backing out of my driveway his truck fell into the ditch. I felt so bad for him. My dad and the neighbors had to help him get out of the ditch.

That night Keith and I went to a concert at hyde park. It was ok. Alot of people were there that i knew. So that was cool. I sat outside most of the time. Amber said that Frank likes me but... I can hope right? She is determined to get us together. Honestly I don't mind. I am going to stop smoking. Really. I just feel bad about it so no more. Ever again. I swear.

Afterwards we hung out by the river again. Fun,fun, fun. This guy with one leg came up to us and hugged alight pole and was like "I am soooo stoned" it was so weird. Carissa and i like cracked up. Keith cracked a smile. He was so sick, poor kid. While we were sitting by the river a guy sitting in front of us had his crack showing. lol. I mean damn pull your pants up. Carissa drove Keith and I home I felt bad asking her to drive us home but... I didn't know what else to do. We got home 16 minutes late. I thought my dad was going to bitch us out b/c I have been late like everytime I have gone out but... all he said was "you're late" and left it at that. I was so relieved. I guess Brianna was right when she said the things you worry about most usually work themselves out. My mom thought keith was stoned. She was like "What is wrong w/ you? You look sick. are you stoned?" I was like "mom. He drank five cans of citrus drop, jumped around like crazy for like two hours and walked like a mile. That is what is wrong w/ him."She was like "Oh" Anyway all in all it was fun.

Today we went to my grandpa's house in Abiliene. Woo Hoo. Ok that wasn't the best part of my weekend but it wasn't as bad as it usually is. I drove up there which sucked b/c driving w/ my whole family in the car makes me nervous. These semis passed me at an intersection where I was trying to to turn and scared the hell out of me. i was like "fuck" I know everyone in the car heard me but pretended not to here it. I've never said fuck in front of my parents before. In a weird way it was kind of liberating. Once we got there I slept. The whole time. Passed the time faster. Thank God.

Well tomorrow is Monday... I have afeeling i might be happy still. i hope so.

regrets - hopes

the past