2006-06-11 - 7:00 p.m.

I want to cut until the hurt goes away.I want to bleed away my sorrows.
I want the sharp sting of the blade to replace the dull ache in my heart.
I want to cut away each lie he fed me.I want to cut away my stupidity, my naivite.
I want to cut out my heart but I'll settle for slicing my skin.

My blade is covered in dried blood.

-----

My blade is covered in fresh blood.

I like to cut before I get in the shower.
I like how the blood mixes with the water and drips down to form pink puddles at my feet that quickly disappear down the drain.
I like how my heart beats faster right before I break the skin.
I like that I deserve it.

No one understands.
I have no one to tell my secrets to anymore.

I might write in here too much. I am glad no one reads it.

regrets - hopes

the past