how can i convince you its me i don't like


2022-03-07 - 3:26 p.m.

I had a nightmare last night. I can't remember it but I woke up yelling and crying. It must have been bad because Greg woke up. He held me while I cried until I calmed down. I haven't had a nightmare in a while. Too much thinking about the past maybe. On top of that Larry texted me Saturday night how he'll always love me and other drunken bullshit. We've been divorced 10 years now... please leave me alone.
I smoked a cigarette today. I haven't had one in years. It was unbelievably satisfying. I had to wait until the kids were gone and Trevor was napping and sneak outside.
I stopped eating. I love feeling hungry. Hungry feels skinny. It's incredibly satisfying.

Writing again is the ultimate satisfaction.

regrets - hopes

the past

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