2014-07-20 - 12:55 p.m.

Today's mantra: bite your tongue.
No emotional outbursts. No mixed messages. No drama. Just be cool and bite your tongue.
I have a hard time with that one alot.

I changed my hair color. No more pink. I'm getting too old for that I guess. It's dark now. Fits how I feel anyhow.

I just want to quit wasting energy on Greg. I'm alone most of the time anyway. I just feel like I'm a chore to him or maybe an afterthought would be a better description. I just feel hurt more than I feel good when it comes to him. I'll be ok on my own. All these emotions are just exhausting.

I still can't sleep. ..
it's wearing me down.

I'm always on the edge of a panic attack.

I was really trying to avoid this but I'm starting to think it might be time to go back on meds for awhile.
I know I'm not thinking clearly or rationally.
I just hate being mediated. It somehow just doesn't make me feel like me.

regrets - hopes

the past