2012-05-29 - 5:12 p.m.

Things on my mind today;

I'm losing weight. Smoking cigarettes and barely eating is working for me. Nothing sounds appetizing anymore. Maybe it's depression. Maybe it's just luck. 10 pounds down in the last two weeks. Only 50 more to go. I doubt I'll ever get there. Oh well don't care... I'd rather be lazy.

Larry's insults are still swimming around in my head. I am gross. I haven't been with anybody but larry since I've had kids. He could be right. I would probably disgust someone if they had to see me naked.

If only I could transform into a supermodel.

Here are my stats or whatever//
people I've...

kissed- 8
blown - 3
been finger banged by- 5
had sex with - 3

For being almost 30 my numbers aren't very high I think.

Life is so strange and confusing.
When does it get easier?

I NEED TO GET FUCKED UP.

I still have my one bowl left but I'm saving it just in case I really need it. Which I probably will by the end of the week.

What happened to all my connections?
I am getting old...

Fuck.
He just stopped by to see the kids.
Everytime I see him I automatically start crying. I hate it. Then he has to hug me and comfort me. Fuck. Don't comfort me... you're the asshole who makes me cry.

Now I really need to get fucked up.
SIGH

Tranquilizers and sleep might be my only option tonight.

regrets - hopes

the past