2010-12-02 - 6:32 p.m.

I afraid I am beginning to fall again. In desperation I'm clinging to the anger, the rage that fills me. Trying to outrun the empty, numb depression that is at my heels. Please let me keep it together.
Old habits are calling my name. Sleep, and tears and self inficted pain.
I am and always will be alone, no matter who is around me. I'm convinced I'll never shake this hopelessness, this fear.
I just don't know anymore...

I want so many unnameable things.

I want ...

Please, please, please let me have strength and courage
I am scared to die
I am scared to live
and at this point I don't know which one I will choose

regrets - hopes

the past