2006-06-27 - 9:26 p.m.

I'm trasported back to 17 with this song.
bright eyes - if winter ends
It conjures up images of lying on my bedroom floor crying.
Of hiding under the covers to cut, to scratch.
of Driving, tears streaming down my face, screaming the lyrics, feeling the lyrics.
That song gets to me.
I listened to that song today.

I swear that I'm dying, slowly but its happening
and if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
just take me there
just take me there

The shimmery red blood on my blade matches my nail polish.

Can you choke on your own indifference? I think I can feel it sticking in my throat.

I feel desperately sad and more desperately alone than ever.
Is it so much just to want to feel better?

I'm not making it through the summer.

No way.

I'll be whatever you want me to be.

---------------

He just called.He is too tired to come over.
Ok.
A surprising twist.
He asked me to go to the movies with him friday, like a date, I think.
Huh.
I don't know.I said ok.
What could be uncomfortable?We alreay fucked.Right?

I don't know what to think.

regrets - hopes

the past