2006-06-05 - 3:54 p.m.

Each day my heart breaks a little more. I don't feel sad right now.Just numb. Indifferent.Each breath comes out a sigh, each smile half hearted. I want to get past this.I want to get past him.
I'm not going to make the mistakes I've made before.I've learned from the past.This time I'm not repeating the ---- incident.I know that path only leads to more confusion.Although it seems as if I'm being overwhelmed from every side, even some that are pleasantly unexpected.
This weekend I decided to throw myself a birthday party.Every year I get so down on my birthday and this party happens to also be on the day he is leaving. I need to surround myself with people otherwise I am afraid what I might do. I have to stay occupied or I might just fall into disrepair.

regrets - hopes

the past