2006-02-21 - 4:09 p.m.

I stopped taking my meds.A good idea? hmmm... probably not. I feel violent and uncontrolable. My emotions are up and down. But I feel so much more intensely. I think I could lose my mind without my meds.Literally. I scare myself sometimes.

Frank and I are falling apart. My heart is breaking and it might just be for the best.If I didn't have my family I would kill myself. I really don't want to live. I was hoping that if I stopped taking my medicine I would get the courage and just end it. I just love my family too much however. I think frank might move back home when our lease is up next month.If he does I guess it is over.SIGH. Sometimes love hurts way too much. I really don't want to write all the ugly details of our falling apart. It hurts too much. I am probably going to stay in our apartment.I am not willing to give up my independence or my cats. It'll will be weird to live alone.I am kind of scared. Gypsy and Ruby will keep me comany.

I would give anything to stay with frank.I am so pathetic.

I am tired of tears....

regrets - hopes

the past