2004-11-02 - 1:27 p.m.

It seems ad though I can't escape myself.I feel like.. god it is so...fuck.
I just keep going through the same shit over and over.I can"t move on past anything.I am being held back and the only thing holding me there is myself.
The depressions are coming more and more and getting worse and worse.I can't hold my crying back.I sob while doing evryday things.Everything sets me off.I feel so hopeless.I FUCKING HATE THIS.
My hours at work are being cut.My car has a million things going wrong with it and I don't have money to fix it.
Stress has been giving migraines.I blacked out yesterday it got so bad.
And to top it off I probably have a drug problem.I am getting high all the time.Sometimes I even go to work high.I hate how stupid I am.I hate everything.
I am so incredibly angry.
I haven't cut.Give me a day.
I think about suicide alot.But I can't be that selfish.I pray that I'll be killed in an accident.Is that wrong of me?
I am scared.I am too scared to do anything.
Frank........
Well everyone knows things with him never go like I want them to.Why do I stay with someone who says they are incapable of love?Am I pathetic to love him more than anything?

On another note: I voted today.

regrets - hopes

the past