2004-08-14 - 12:53 p.m.

I feel so guilty about eveything I've done to Frank and to Doug.I am a bad person and I hate myself.

I found out frank made out with tiffani.I have no right to be mad and I'm not.I am upset that he didn't tell me.I can't sleep at night because of my guilt but at least I was honest with him.I can't believe he wouldn't tell me.What a fucking pussy.

Whatever.

And the whole doug thing.I like doug alot but Frank... God I don't know.Doug has no feelings for me but neither does frank.

I am always ready to go but drinking makes me really horny.I hate that I can't think straight.

I am shaking so bad.

I feel like everyone is kind of using me.

I am done using people.Completely done.

Why does frank stay with me?I really don't understand.He doesn't love me.He doesn't really want to ever have sex.He doesn't want a future together.Is it just because I go out of my way for him? I make his life easier?

I am tired of everything.

I hope I get this job.Then I can leave target and everyone there behind, hopefully including frank.

At this point I can honestly say I don't want to go on living.

FUCK YOU!!!!

regrets - hopes

the past