2004-03-02 - 1:23 p.m.

The last couple of weeks have been extreme ups and downs.One minute,one hour, one day I feel great, the next I come crashing down and it is almost too much to bear.

The therapy is really helping I think.I feel like dr. seifert is the only one who really listens.The only one who isn't just waiting for me to stop talking.It helps me to know that at the end of the week that he'll be there to talk to.

He keeps telling me that most people at some point feel like I do.

Empty.

Sad.

Scared.

If most people feel like this why do I feel so alone?Why do I feel like there is something wrong with me?

The urge to cut is stronger that it has ever been.Ever.It has been 3 weeks and with everyday I go without the urge become stronger.I can't stop thinking about it.I want to cut so deep that I hit bone.I want to bleed to death.

I am so scared.

I am so alone.

regrets - hopes

the past