2002-05-10 - 11:48 a.m.

Today is my job interview. I am nervous as hell and scared to death. Damn, I am such a baby. Ok, I don't want to think about it anymore. Either I'll get the job or I won't. It's not like it's my dream job or anything. If I don't get it then who cares. Right? I probably wouldn't make a good waitress anyway.

I am almost done with high school and now I have to grow up. Fuck. I really hate that. I always thought I'd be dead before I was 18. But here I am alive and well and 18 in a month. So much for my that. Now I actually have to do something with my life and I have no idea what. Maybe I could just kill myself? If it comes to that I'll do it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Sometimes I just hate my life so much.

regrets - hopes

the past