2002-02-04 - 6:28 p.m.
Well yesterday after Frank got off work he picked me up and we went to his house. We were getting prety intimate and Frank said he wanted to have sex. i would do anything to make him happy so I said ok. He started to stick it in and it hurt and I started to get so scared and I felt myself about to scream. If I could have stopped myself from screaming I would have let him keep going. But I made him stop. I had never been so scared in my whole life. I don't know why? It was like when you are watching a scary movie and you know the scary part is coming up so you cover your eyes and grit your teeth.After he stopped I felt so bad. I just cried. I know I let him down. I am so sorry. I just felt so vulnerable. He went to the bathroom(I'm guessing to masterbate) and I curled up on his bed and sobbed. It was horrible.
Anyway today I have the flu and it sucks.
regrets - hopes