2002-01-06 - 10:51 a.m.

Yesterday I watched requim for a dream with frank. It is a wonderful movie. After watching it I cried forever. At first I was crying about the movie and then I started thinking about everything and I kept on crying.

All my friends have graduated. I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives. I am stuck,left behind. All I have left is Frank. School starts tomorrow. I would rather die than go. I hate this fear. All my friends are gone,they are what got me through the day. I don't know if I am going to be able to get through this.

I am a stupid fuck up. I hate myself. I hate that I am so dumb and pathetic. I hate that I am scared of everything. I hate that I am still alive.

regrets - hopes

the past