2001-12-11 - 9:02 p.m.

i don't understand why i am so sad.

to someone else my life probably looks ok.

i think the problem is me. i just can't appreciate what i have.

i should be happy but i'm not.

i should want to live but i don't.

if it wasn't for frank i don't know if i'd still be here. i don't know whether to thank him or not. at night he'll talk to me, sing silly songs to me for hours to cheer me up and help me sleep. i hate the night. i hate being alone. he knows this and tries so hard to help me. i know i don't deserve him.

i'm trying to be happy, really.

regrets - hopes

the past