2001-05-30 - 5:39 p.m.

Just when I began to feel somewhat stable I crash. I fall. I woke up this morning and once again I was empty. I wanted to cut so bad. the urge was so stronge. I didn't think I could resist it. I got a pair of scissors and pressed the blade into my leg. I pressed until I felt the sharp pain run through my whole body. Sweet, sweet pain. I didn't draw blood. I wanted to. Damn I wanted to so bad. But as I pressed the cold metal into my thigh I thought of all my friends and how I don't want them to think I'm messed up. So I stopped. All that is left is a faint stinging and a small scratch that will disappear in a few days.

regrets - hopes

the past