2001-05-20 - 8:59 p.m.

Frank just left.

Life is good.

I am very sad to admit that even though I am fairly happy I still feel the need to cut. It has become a horrible addiction. Damn I am so fucked up. Today I was lying on the floor and imagining a knife plunging into my back. Blood flowing, pain cascading through me and darkness descending. I am trying so hard not to. I will be strong. I will not cut. I wonder how long I'll last. I just want to feel the pain see the blood welling up on my pale skin. Bright blood, pale skin such a beautiful contrast. I don't want anyone to know this especially Frank. i want everyone to t5hink I'm ok again. Shit I am ok. I will be ok.

regrets - hopes

the past