2001-05-08 - 8:23 p.m.

Today I got switched from chemistry into a study hall. It seems that this makes my failure official. Heather is a fuck up. No going back now. I am never going to smart like I used to be. I will forever be a disappointment to everyone. A couple people said "cool" when I told them that I was in study hall now. I smiled and nodded when all I wanted to do was scream. Cool that I failed? That I am a failure? God... I never thought that I'd be where I am now.

Study hall consists of me and three boys. I don't want to be judgemental and automatically classify them as 'troublemakers' but they weren't in there for good behavior. In that class no thinking is involved so I fit right in.

I am so tired. I started on my tranquilizers yesterday. I fell asleep at like eleven and only woke up three times before I had to get up at 6:00. It was great. My mom thought I was tired b/c I wasn't getting enough sleep but today i was still exhausted. She is making me stay up until 10:00 at least. I usually take a nap b/c i am so tired when i get home i can't even keep my eyes open. I am so tired right now.

Anyway...

Fuck everybody.

regrets - hopes

the past