how can i convince you its me i don't like

Empty

2001-05-02 - 4:20 p.m.

Well it is official I'm completely empty inside. God. I can't cry. I can't cry. Crying used to be my only release and now... Now there is only pain. Gut wrenching, mind numbing pain. I can feel the tears inside. i'm full of tears. But I can't let them go. God. I think I might never be able to. Today I got to school and I was so empty, so scared. i just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Cry until there are no tears left. But i guess that is impossible for me. Maybe I'm not alive anymore? So I went into the bathroom with a bobby pin. I dug into my thigh. I still didn't cry. I wanted the pain to be so bad that I would have to cry. I bled, which to me was a blessing but no tears. Anyway brianna came in and made me stop, damn it. I needed to cut but... oh fuck it. Nothing helps anymore.

regrets - hopes

the past

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