2001-05-02 - 8:37 p.m.

I slept the afternoon away. Still I feel like shit. i am so tired yet I know tonight that sleep will be impossible. I NEED to cry. God, why can't I cry? Please, please, please let this emptiness stop. I can't take the pain. I know that is a contradiction but... The pain is overwhelming. I want to die. I want this pain to stop. I want to be better. I feel so helpless, I hate being helpless. Useless, stupid, worthless, fuck up, that's me. No one understands. I hate being alone. i hate being me. I don't know how much more I can take.Fuck...

Why can't I be better? WHY?

regrets - hopes

the past