2001-05-01 - 9:11 a.m.

I feel psychically sick with worry. I don't don't what to do and it is eating me up inside. It feels like whatever decision I make it will be the wrong one and someone will be disappointed. I just don't know what to do? I feel like screaming. I wish I were dead then I wouldn't have to deal with this. I could end it right now. But I won't,I deserve to suffer. Really, I do. Fuck I hate my life.

regrets - hopes

the past