how can i convince you its me i don't like


2001-04-23 - 9:35 p.m.

Well today was my last day of work. I still haven't cried. I have died inside. At least now I don't have to pretend at work. i feel like curling up into a ball and never moving, ever.

I have no right to be sad, or feel like I do. So many people have problems worth feeling sad over and I don't. I am so selfish, so stupid, so wrong. Maybe cutting again would help me feel alive. But I know that is wrong. And anyway perhaps feeling dead is better? Probably.

School was weird. Everything was blurry and alien. I haven't felt so alone in a long time? I can't wait until summer. I think I'll make it.

regrets - hopes

the past

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